Here is my weight loss journey:
I tried to upload it yesterday but something was wrong and i wasnt able to put pictures on it….i am so sorry!
DISCLAIMER: This is very long. I am so sorry! I just didn’t want to leave anything out. If you have any questions about my life, I am an open book, please don’t hesitate to ask!
I am the daughter of two very loving parents who are always supportive of me. We grew up going to church on a weekly basis. My dad was on the board for the church so our family was in the lime light.
In middle school I came to the realization that I was never going to be the skinny popular girl. I was involved in sports, I played volleyball. Though, with all the practices I became fit and learned some workouts to do. I just accepted that fact that both of my parents are larger than I too am destined to be larger.
My church had a very active youth group. When I was in middle school I longed to be in the youth group. (If you grew up in a church, then you know the feeling) When it was finally my turn things took a drastic change.
My dad served on the board with eight people, one guy in particular he was really close with. We would always do picnics with their family and constantly doing sleepover with their kids. I remember one time our mom’s went away for a girl’s weekend and their family came over to our house for the whole weekend. Our dads served us ice cream for dinner! They had a daughter, Alyssa, who is a year younger than me. She was, and to this day still is, my best friend.
I believe high school years are so tough on a kid. You are trying to determine who you are with a hundreds of kids judging you each day. Saying I had a bad high school experience would be an understatement. My freshman year of high school, Alyssa’s brother was diagnosed with melanoma cancer, normally found in older people. It was hard watching him go through that because he was a brother to me as well.
During this stage I gained weight significantly, I believe I was close to 160 pounds as a 15-year-old. I could not handle the stress of school with the stress of trauma as well. In July of 2006 Alyssa’s brother had passed away. I turned to food to help my heart heal. I was only 15 I didn’t know how to comfort Alyssa.
I also became very insure in high school because I had acne. Not like one or two bumps. More like 50 bumps all over my face. People in high school would laugh at me. Little children would ask their parents what was on my face. I was mortified. I would come home from school and cry in my room a lot.
Then when I turned 16 I got a job at the YMCA in the childcare area. I would watch as really pretty women would go workout. I started working out a ton. I would workout for hours and hours a day. I lost a lot of weight then. Considering me shy was an understatement. I had no self-confidence. I would not talk to people I didn’t know. I was really awkward in social situations.
During that time my grandma was diagnosed with cancer as well. I was extremely close with my grandma. I would spend every weekend sleeping at her house when I was a kid because I loved being with my grandparents. They day we lost my Grandma was so hard. I was holding her hand when she passed away. The doctors pushed me out-of-the-way. It all happened so fast. I turned back to food to comfort me and to get over this loss.
I progressively gained weight. I went on a cruise for my sister’s graduation in 2007. I tried to lose weight before we went but I failed miserably. Then again in 2009 I went on another cruise for my graduation from high school. I failed miserably again. Looking back on both the cruise pictures because of how big I looked in them.
Prom with Friends
In high school I think it is safe to say that I did not find out who I was. I turned out to be a sacred little girl who had no confidence and wouldn’t talk to anyone.
In college I wanted to make a change. I wanted a fresh start. Over the summer I had lost some weight because I became very active. I moved onto campus and loved it. I joined a club called SIFE (now Enactus). It is a business club that strives to help and improve the life of others. I had gained weight my freshman year because the food was so different at the cafeteria then I was used to.
Mostly through college I stopped caring about my weight and cared more about what I was doing. I am a perfectionist and I put a lot of my time into homework and studying. I honestly would cry if I got a bad grade. In 2011 I traveled to India with the SIFE team. It was such an amazing experience to get outside of the United States and to see another culture. I spent time at an orphanage and feel in love with a little girl named Embeca. I still remember her face.
Me with Embeca
Visiting India changed my prospective on myself. When I came home I stopped caring about what others thought about me. I stopped caring about the acne on my face. I learned that when you love on others and respect others, no matter what they look like, they will do the same back to you. It was a life saving trip for me in so many ways.
My confidence sky rocketed and so did my self-worth. On the other hand I didn’t care about my weight. I just was having so much fun doing what I wanted to do, enjoying friends, family, and life. My weight had gotten to be 180.
In May of 2012, my sister was getting married. I tried my hardest to lose weight for that and probably got down to 170 but it was also the last semester for college for me. I was graduating in December of 2012. It was really stressful time because it meant I needed to find a job on top of all the papers and exams I was doing.
Did I mention I am a perfectionist? I lived with a family in 2012 who I am so blessed to have in my life. They would always tell me that in the grand picture one grade on a paper is not a big deal. There is so much more in life to live for than good grades. I am so thankful they told me that as I cried over papers and group projects because it helped me in my last semester. I even skipped classes to help my sister with wedding planning. Those are precious memories I have now because I learned there is life after school.
I was offered a job at the place I did my internship with. It is a small company with a loving group of people that encourages me on a daily basis.
The highlight of my story is my fiancé. I meant him my freshman year of high school. He was there when Alyssa’s brother died. He was there when I had mounds of acne. He was there when I was fat. He was there when my grandma died. He was their when I became obsessed with working out. He was there through the tough times in high school. He was there all through out college. Then on December 1st, 2012 he asked me to be his wife. I am one lucky girl to have found a man who has loved me through all those times. It wasn’t always easy, we broke up a couple of times but we always came back together.
Me and Rob back in 2007
I started this blog because I personally wanted to get over my fear of putting my self out there. I am still working on coming out of my shell. I am working on being the best person I can be.
I want to have kids some day and I want to travel with my future husband. I want us to take tons of pictures. I want to look back on those pictures and feel good about myself.
Family During Mothers Day 2013
My weight loss journey has been a roller coaster in my life but I believe I have come out on top. If I lose no more weight and stay where I am I will be happy. If I do lose more weight I will be happy. I think in life you need to find your inner peace and learn to love yourself and you will be successful.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength”