Love Yourself


What does beauty mean to you? Can you look in a mirror to find it?

I am in LOVE with this photo I found on Pinterest!

I struggled for many years with loving myself and thinking I was so ugly, fat and worthless. Part of the reason for this blog and losing weight was to help me overcome those thoughts and feelings.

I now believe ALL things are beautiful and that as women we NEED to encourage each other and not bring each other down!

I hope that you are all having a fantastic day and crushing the goals you have set out for yourself.

“You’ve Got this! No matter the dilemma, mess, or obstacle, there’s a creative way to solve it.” – By Caitlin Carlson



Dealing with an Attacker

This is a subject that is really close to my heart. I feel like every woman should know how to defend themself if they are being attacked by someone!

Last friday on my day off, Rachel Ray had a show about this and ways that women can fight back.

Then I started reading my September issue of Women’s Health Magazine and there was an article about Protecting yourself.  This is so important for all people to know!

Number 1: Be alert. When we are walking from the groceries store to our car, don;t fumble around in your purse for your keys or be looking down at your phone. An attacker wants to catch you off guard and it is easier to do that if you aren’t paying attention. You also need to be alert with a plan in mind. If i am running at night-time I think about of what if something happened right now what would I do. Well I would run to the house up there with the light on, bang on the door and get help. Thinking of a plan ahead of time and being alert about the area around you can save your life.

Number 2: Do not run. My first instinct when I feel trouble coming is to go the opposite way and leave the situation. Don’t do it, because if all we think about is leaving than we are not focused on protecting ourself. The attacker could catch up to us. You want to distract him before you run.  If they are after your purse. Throw it far away. The attention is then off of you and your purse and moved to the purse. Then run for help.

Number 3: You NEED to injure the attacker. This one still frightens me, but if i think about this person is not afraid to come up to me steal something of mine, or possible hurt me. You cannot just hurt the attacker you need to injure them. An easy target that doesnt require a lot of force is the eyes. Gouge the eyes with either your fingers, car eyes, pen, anything you may have on you. Another target area on the guy is the groin. kick it or punch it as hard as you possibly can.  If the attacker is coming from behind and has you in a bear hug you can either stomp on their foot, twist their skin on their arm with your fingers or the best one is swing your head back and head but them. You need to disorient the attacker so that you can go free and get help.

Enjoy this video from the Rachael Ray show on August 23rd

Self-Defense 101



Bridal Shower

So Saturday we hosted our bridal shower at my parents house. It was so overwhelming and so fun at the same time. I am someone who does not the attention on me. Having 50 people at the house all for me was so wonderful yet so frightening. Everything turned out to be fantastic though.

This is a picture of my bridal party. From Left to Right: Rob’s older sister, Rob’s younger sister, me, my best friend Alyssa, my cousin, and my sister (wearing my dress!)

This was pretty much my reaction to all the gifts i opened! I was so amazed and blessed by all the people who came and brought a gift. I just couldn’t believe it! I received a Kitchen Aid Mixer, My bedding set, Rachel Ray Pots and Pans, Cutco Knives Block Set, Crock-pot, Toasters, Sheets, Shark Steamer, and so so much more.

I just want a house now so I can more it all in and play with it =)

I am going to tell you a story about my family that is pretty crazy. In this photo is (top row: Kim, My Mom, Jen, Nicole, Me, Lacey. Bottom Row: Robin and My Grandma) When my grandma was 16, she became pregnant with Kim. Her parents sent her away to have the baby and get rid of it because back then 16 year olds so not have babies. My grandma gave Kim up. All my life i believed I only had one aunt, Aunt Robin (seated next to Grandma). This year in February/March time my Grandma come into town and tells my mom and my aunt that she has something she needs to tell them. She shares with us that they have another sister. We were all so shocked. Lacey is Kim’s daughter, so technically she is my cousin.

My bridal shower is the first family event that they have come too and I was so blessed to have them there! I couldn’t imagine anything like that happening in my family but I am so glad it did! I guess all families have their own dysfunction in some ways.


Adventures in the wild!

Today I didn’t have to work!!!! Since the bridal shower is tomorrow at our house I took the day off to make sure all the last-minute things get done!

I started off the day going for a walk on the canal…… and I actually ran for some of it just to see how the quad would feel. It is still really sore but it wasn’t going kill me =). (that’s how I measure pain)



As you can see I still have poison ivy. The pink dots on my ankles are it, and it goes all the way up my leg.


As I was on my walk/run I first ran into these geese…..


the look harmless. There was at least 50 of them there against me. I was trying to walk through and they starting hissing at me. Some started to charge towards me. That’s why I started running!! I literally had to run though the grass to get around them!!!

Then I run into a deer!! The mom was standing there and stomping her foot at me. I was thinking this is crazy. I was walking so I didn’t think I would frighten her.  I kept going closer slowly when I saw this adorable baby deer! That obviously why the mom was so protective. They finally ran away into the woods.

On my way back to the house I ran into the hissing geese again. They hissed I threw a handful of the rocks you see on the path to get them to move. (The picture of them is on the way back…..they were all in the middle of the path when i was starting.)

Needless to say i had an eventful morning!

CHECK OUT MY LAST POST HERE and get your FREE bulu box! It sends healthy vitamins and supplements to your door each month and they are letting you get a box free with COUPON CODE: BULUGAN551!! I am not sure how long this code will last for.


Now on to getting ready for the bridal shower. To cook. To Clean. and To Spend time with some family in town!


Bulu box!

Ok please tell me you have all heard of this!!!

A while ago I showed you the birch box I got we’ll I was not impressed but I like the idea of being able to try new products. I saw a post by Courtney from Biggest Loser Season 11 (btw….she lost 222 pounds and raves about this box)about this thing called bulu box.


I thought it sounded interesting, I went to the website Bulu box Website!!!

And I was do amazed by this!!!!

You get heathy products sent to your home each month. I signed up for the weight loss box. I will get things like supplements and energy boasting product along with protein bars and powders and the latest food trends like hemp seeds!



If you go the the website and type in BULUGAN551 you get a box for free!!!!! You can just try it out for a month and see if you like it!!!

If you think this is something for you that some code gives you a year subscription for $50. When I went to the website and looked it up I was like uhhh this is my kinda box!!! I just went right the the year subscription ( thank you Courtney from biggest loser!!) the year subscription is normally $110 so I knew that getting it for $50 was well worth it.

Then the crazy thing on top of that was I get 120 reward point which equals out to $12. So if I like something in my box a lot I can go to the website and purchase the full sized product and get $12 dollars off it!!!!


Ok it is a no brainer…. Click right here and put in code BULUGAN551 and get a box for free, or be crazy like me and jump in for the whole year!!!

I am beyond excited!!! Go get your free box!

Side note: if you just want the one box free but are afraid there is some crazy stipulation… Then first you are like me and second THERE WAS NONE! It shocked me but also made me trust the company more because they weren’t trying to scam me into paying them! It shows me they believe in there product and that you will fall in live and want more!

That’s all for my rant today! Honestly check it out….



Hello All,

Life has been rocky lately, and I think rocky is a nice way of putting it.

Life has been a whirlwind.

In July I signed up for a kickball league, which was so awesome and fun…….untill I pulled my quad muscle. It was throbbing and pulsing for two weeks. I would put ice on it, and also put a heat pad on it. I was thinking the heat pad would help the muscle to relax. Finally after two weeks of not playing any kickball, I said I was going to play again. I stretched out my legs before the game. When it was my turn up, I kicked the ball and BAM pulled the quad again! I was so angry. For two weeks I couldn’t workout at all I rested. I went on walks just to get some form of exercise in. Then all over again it was starting. I was so mad at myself.

Then i did the most stupid thing….I kept playing!

Who does that! (oh…apparently I do) I didn’t stop because it felt good to be back on the field.

On top of having a bum quad I have poison ivy. ALL OVER MY LEGS!!! At my house we have a path to the canal. I love going on the canal for walks, runs, and bike rides. The path was getting overgrown so I decided I would stop that….and widen it. Apparently we have poison ivy back in the woods. I have had poison ivy for 2 months now and it wont go away! I am taking any suggestions on how to make it go away!!

On the marriage front: Saturday is my bridal shower, at my house, which is great and horrible. Starting in August I have been cleaning, de-clutering, shopping, making things, ect. to get ready for this event. I re-did the landscape at the house, Painted the whole deck, cleaned all the windows in the house and so on. My back is killing me!!! (apparently I need to get back and focus on my abs more!)

Also me and Rob are shopping for a house! It is a really exciting time but also adds on some more stress. My life is busy enough. I have work everyday. I normally come home, pick a new room to clean, workout, eat dinner, crash and do it all over again. Then weekends are filled with going to houses and open houses and so on.

Summer is nice though. I have had a bunch of different weddings to go to. Family members from Australia came to the states and stayed with my family for three weeks. I also had family reunions to go to. Along with going to the family cottage and just relaxing.

Needless to say I am exciting for summer to be over and for a steady fall schedule to fall into place. Along with my bum quad to heal. I still can’t really workout. I may need to go to the doctor to see if I did something else besides pull it. I can see my body losing some of it muscles, especially in my legs. I gained weight as well. (icing on the cake right!) This morning when I weighed it said 167 pounds. Which I mean is not a huge weight gain but because I know I am losing muscle it feels huge to me.

This morning when I was getting dressed for work I felt uncomfortable in everything I tried on. It was just one of those mornings where I wanted to crawl back into bed and have the day restart over. I just feel disgusted with myself but I don’t know what to do because I can only do light activity for working out. I can’t do the p90x like I am used to.

Never have I pulled a muscle in my life and I pray that I never again will!

It sucks!

I hope you all have an amazing hump day!




This is me on my First Birthday and then today on my 22nd birthday!

All day I have had the Taylor Swift song, 22 in my head!

Tonight I am going out to a lake near my home with Rob and were going to have dinner there! I am really excited for it because I heard it was good but have never actually gone!

For my birthday my sister got me some workout clothes and a JUMP ROPE! That was the number one thing I wanted for my birthday! What can I say, I am easy to please!


Some things I am looking forward to this year…

* Getting married

*Buying a house

* Hopefully getting a dog (Husky)

*Road Trip to Florida with Rob

* Family time at the Cottage

*More camping trips

*First Married Christmas (is that wierd….I LOVEE Christmas)



Sorry I have been gone!

Wow, has it been that long……

No I have not fallen off the weight loss wagon! I just wanted to get that out-of-the-way.

Life has been crazy busy the last few weeks.

Memorial Day weekend camping went well. I told you guys i was pretty nervous about camping because of all the junk food that is around. I went for long hikes everyday with Rob which were so fun! I wanted to go running but their was no real-time to do it due to babies and family things going on, which was a bummer.




The bad part of that was I had more processed food that weekend that I have had in a few months. My body told me so as well. Tuesday May 28th when we got back from the trip I was sick….for days. My body was not used to eating processed foods so it started rejecting everything I ate. That is the main reason I havent been on to blog in a while.

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday all I ate was water, tons of veggies and fruit. I do not like taking medicine. I don’t care if I am in pain I would rather have my body naturally take care it itself by eating the right things then putting chemicals in my body. That’s just how I am.

Friday May 31st I finally started feeling better. I went back to working out full force. I did my Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred. Then I did my new Denise Austin Fat Burning video (I am feeling it this morning!!) She killed me legs! I loved the workout though, it was a really great. She mixed strength in with cardio so it was a whole body work out with was wonderful.

I have a pool at my house and went swimming while i was sick just to get some activity in. I love swimming it is a wonderful workout. I used to be able to do laps for hours. When i got in the pool I did 15 laps and was panting like I was dying. Apparently I need to swim a little more.

Sunday (Yesterday) I had all my family over for a birthday party for me. My birthday is one Tuesday, June 4th. We had a cookout with come Chicken, Salt Potatoes, Asparagus and Baked Ziti. It was wonderful!! I love having family over! A few of my family member are doing weight watchers like I am so we exchange recipes and stuff. I love it!

I want to apologize for being away for so long. It has really been a crazy couple of weeks.




Today is a Weigh-In Wednesday Report, but it also is a very special day as well.

In my post yesterday I talked about my best friends Alyssa’s brother who passed away due to cancer. Well today is his birthday. If he was still alive he would be 23 years old!

My heart goes out to all the people of Oklahoma and the heartache that is there. I know the feeling of losing someone so young!


Weigh-In Wednesday….

I weigh 161.6 lb.

For the crazy week I had, I’ll take it.

It has been very beautiful here, I believe today is supposed to get up to 80 degrees. I plan to use the best of it and spend most of the day outside (after work of course)

I am really nervous this weekend because I am going camping. I love camping. The only reason I am nervous is because I don’t know how the diet is going to go with camping. I am normally more active all day long when I go, but on the other hand I am eating more than normal. I eat more chips and snack food/processed food. I am a little nervous on how it is going to effect my body.

Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid such things when camping?


Weight Loss Journey

Here is my weight loss journey:

I tried to upload it yesterday but something was wrong and i wasnt able to put pictures on it….i am so sorry!

DISCLAIMER: This is very long. I am so sorry! I just didn’t want to leave anything out. If you have any questions about my life, I am an open book, please don’t hesitate to ask!

I am the daughter of two very loving parents who are always supportive of me. We grew up going to church on a weekly basis. My dad was on the board for the church so our family was in the lime light.

In middle school I came to the realization that I was never going to be the skinny popular girl. I was involved in sports, I played volleyball. Though, with all the practices I became fit and learned some workouts to do. I just accepted that fact that both of my parents are larger than I too am destined to be larger.20130521-143017.jpg

My church had a very active youth group. When I was in middle school I longed to be in the youth group. (If you grew up in a church, then you know the feeling) When it was finally my turn things took a drastic change.

My dad served on the board with eight people, one guy in particular he was really close with. We would always do picnics with their family and constantly doing sleepover with their kids. I remember one time our mom’s went away for a girl’s weekend and their family came over to our house for the whole weekend. Our dads served us ice cream for dinner! They had a daughter, Alyssa, who is a year younger than me. She was, and to this day still is, my best friend.


I believe high school years are so tough on a kid. You are trying to determine who you are with a hundreds of kids judging you each day. Saying I had a bad high school experience would be an understatement. My freshman year of high school, Alyssa’s brother was diagnosed with melanoma cancer, normally found in older people. It was hard watching him go through that because he was a brother to me as well.


During this stage I gained weight significantly, I believe I was close to 160 pounds as a 15-year-old. I could not handle the stress of school with the stress of trauma as well. In July of 2006 Alyssa’s brother had passed away. I turned to food to help my heart heal. I was only 15 I didn’t know how to comfort Alyssa.

I also became very insure in high school because I had acne. Not like one or two bumps. More like 50 bumps all over my face. People in high school would laugh at me. Little children would ask their parents what was on my face. I was mortified. I would come home from school and cry in my room a lot.

Then when I turned 16 I got a job at the YMCA in the childcare area. I would watch as really pretty women would go workout. I started working out a ton. I would workout for hours and hours a day. I lost a lot of weight then. Considering me shy was an understatement. I had no self-confidence. I would not talk to people I didn’t know. I was really awkward in social situations.

During that time my grandma was diagnosed with cancer as well. I was extremely close with my grandma. I would spend every weekend sleeping at her house when I was a kid because I loved being with my grandparents. They day we lost my Grandma was so hard. I was holding her hand when she passed away. The doctors pushed me out-of-the-way. It all happened so fast. I turned back to food to comfort me and to get over this loss.


I progressively gained weight. I went on a cruise for my sister’s graduation in 2007. I tried to lose weight before we went but I failed miserably. Then again in 2009 I went on another cruise for my graduation from high school. I failed miserably again. Looking back on both the cruise pictures because of how big I looked in them.

me cruise



Prom with Friends

In high school I think it is safe to say that I did not find out who I was. I turned out to be a sacred little girl who had no confidence and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

In college I wanted to make a change. I wanted a fresh start. Over the summer I had lost some weight because I became very active. I moved onto campus and loved it. I joined a club called SIFE (now Enactus). It is a business club that strives to help and improve the life of others. I had gained weight my freshman year because the food was so different at the cafeteria then I was used to.

Mostly through college I stopped caring about my weight and cared more about what I was doing. I am a perfectionist and I put a lot of my time into homework and studying. I honestly would cry if I got a bad grade. In 2011 I traveled to India with the SIFE team. It was such an amazing experience to get outside of the United States and to see another culture. I spent time at an orphanage and feel in love with a little girl named Embeca. I still remember her face.


Me with Embeca

Visiting India changed my prospective on myself. When I came home I stopped caring about what others thought about me. I stopped caring about the acne on my face. I learned that when you love on others and respect others, no matter what they look like, they will do the same back to you. It was a life saving trip for me in so many ways.

india 2


My confidence sky rocketed and so did my self-worth. On the other hand I didn’t care about my weight. I just was having so much fun doing what I wanted to do, enjoying friends, family, and life. My weight had gotten to be 180.

In May of 2012, my sister was getting married. I tried my hardest to lose weight for that and probably got down to 170 but it was also the last semester for college for me. I was graduating in December of 2012. It was really stressful time because it meant I needed to find a job on top of all the papers and exams I was doing.


Did I mention I am a perfectionist? I lived with a family in 2012 who I am so blessed to have in my life. They would always tell me that in the grand picture one grade on a paper is not a big deal. There is so much more in life to live for than good grades. I am so thankful they told me that as I cried over papers and group projects because it helped me in my last semester. I even skipped classes to help my sister with wedding planning. Those are precious memories I have now because I learned there is life after school.

I was offered a job at the place I did my internship with. It is a small company with a loving group of people that encourages me on a daily basis.

The highlight of my story is my fiancé. I meant him my freshman year of high school. He was there when Alyssa’s brother died. He was there when I had mounds of acne. He was there when I was fat. He was there when my grandma died. He was their when I became obsessed with working out. He was there through the tough times in high school. He was there all through out college. Then on December 1st, 2012 he asked me to be his wife. I am one lucky girl to have found a man who has loved me through all those times. It wasn’t always easy, we broke up a couple of times but we always came back together.

me and rob1

Me and Rob back in 2007

I started this blog because I personally wanted to get over my fear of putting my self out there. I am still working on coming out of my shell. I am working on being the best person I can be.

I want to have kids some day and I want to travel with my future husband. I want us to take tons of pictures. I want to look back on those pictures and feel good about myself.


Family During Mothers Day 2013

My weight loss journey has been a roller coaster in my life but I believe I have come out on top. If I lose no more weight and stay where I am I will be happy. If I do lose more weight I will be happy. I think in life you need to find your inner peace and learn to love yourself and you will be successful.


Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength”